What Worry Takes From Today
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Welcome to REWIRE | REBOOT, a weekly newsletter where I share reflections from my ongoing personal growth journey and provide tested ideas, frameworks, tools and practices to help you create the life you want.
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In this issue:
- Rewire - The Cost of Worry
- One Action - Write It Down, Then Decide
- Reboot - Move Your Body, Ease Your Mind
Rewire - Idea I'm Exploring
The Cost of Worry
I have seen what constant worry can take from a person. I’ve seen it in people I love, across more than one generation of my family. I have also experienced it.
So much of what we worry about is beyond our control. Past events we can’t change. Decisions that aren’t ours to make. Future events that haven’t happened and may never happen.
We can spend hours imagining all the ways something could go wrong. One what-if leads to another, until we’re upset about a situation that exists only in our heads. And our thoughts often turn to the worst possibilities. We give far less attention to what could go well, or to our ability to handle a problem if it does arise.
The same pattern shows up in how we respond to the world around us. We read troubling headlines, keep checking for updates and spend hours complaining and commiserating with people who share our views. Staying informed has value. But when we’re becoming more upset without doing anything useful, what are we accomplishing?
All that energy is being spent without changing the situation. The past remains the past. Someone else’s decision remains theirs. Tomorrow is still uncertain. Meanwhile, the worry is taking something away from the day we’re actually living.
You can see the strain in someone who worries constantly. In their expression, their posture, the tiredness in their eyes. You hear it in the sighs and in how quickly a conversation turns to what could go wrong. It can seem as though worry is eating away at their ability to enjoy life.
For many people, it follows them into the night. They struggle to fall asleep, or wake up thinking about something and can't get back to sleep. I’ve been there many times. Then the lack of sleep compounds the problem, making it harder to manage emotions and cope with the demands of the next day.
Changing this pattern takes work. The answer comes from within. You have the ability to take control of your own mind and thoughts.
Focus on what is happening now and what you can do about it.
Learn what you can from the past, without repeatedly putting yourself through something you can no longer change.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think ahead and consider the possible outcomes. Understand the worst-case scenario and prepare for what you would do if it happened. Take reasonable precautions.
Then park it.
If you keep going over what might happen after you’ve worked out what you can do, you’re taking time and attention away from the actions that could help.
When I catch myself doing this I ask, “What can I do about this now?”
If there is something I can do, I try to do it. If it needs to happen later, I put it in my calendar or set a reminder.
If the answer is nothing, I try to put it out of my head and return to what’s directly in front of me.
It’s easy to say this and harder to do. A thought can return even after you’ve decided to set it aside. It’s a practice that takes time.
What I can tell you from experience is that learning to let go of that worry makes life feel happier and freer. You have more attention available for the people you’re with and more opportunity to enjoy what you’re doing.
Worry sucks the joy out of life.
Put some of that energy into something you can do today. Give yourself a chance to enjoy it. Find gratitude for what you have and what you’re able to do.
There will always be uncertainty about tomorrow. You don’t have to give it all of today.
One Action
Write It Down, Then Decide
Try this every day for the next week.
When you catch yourself worrying about something, identify it and write it down.
Ask yourself: Is there something I can do or influence?
If there is, write down one small action you can take. Then do it, or put it in your calendar.
If there isn’t, throw the paper away as a reminder to discard the worry.
In either case, return your attention to what’s in front of you.
Let me know how it goes. Just reply to this email.
Inspirational Quote
“Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.13, Gregory Hays translation.
Reboot - Health & Longevity
Move Your Body, Ease Your Mind
The best remedy I know for dealing with stress, anxiety and worry is exercise.
Even when we learn to focus on what’s within our control, we will still experience stress and anxiety. The things we can do something about can still be difficult. Knowing what we need to do doesn’t necessarily take away the pressure of doing it.
Moving your body can help.
There is research behind this. A 2023 overview in the British Journal of Sports Medicine brought together 97 reviews of exercise trials. It found that physical activity helped reduce symptoms of anxiety and psychological distress across a range of adult populations.
The benefits can begin with a single session. A meta-analysis of 36 randomised trials found a small average reduction in immediate anxiety after exercise compared with a control condition.
For me, a hard workout takes my mind off whatever is causing the stress and helps prepare me for what’s to come. Working through a physical challenge reinforces that I’m capable of dealing with difficult things. That confidence carries into the rest of the day.
It also helps put things in perspective. Some of the things we stress about aren’t as important as we make them out to be. Others are important, but more manageable than they initially seem.
It doesn’t have to be a hard workout. Taking a break and going for a short walk can be a useful place to start. Give yourself a few minutes away from what’s occupying your mind and notice how you feel when you return.
Regular exercise can also help improve sleep quality.
For me, exercise is also a source of joy. Finding something you enjoy gives you a reason to keep doing it beyond managing stress. And when you look forward to it, you’re more likely to stick with it.
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Until next week,
Kevin
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