Sometimes Life Rigs Things In Your Favour
Read on kevferrell.com
Welcome to REWIRE | REBOOT, a weekly newsletter where I share reflections from my ongoing personal growth journey and provide tested ideas, frameworks, tools and practices to help you create the life you want.
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In this issue:
- Rewire - Things Will Work Out
- Reboot - Look Up Long Enough to Notice
- One Action - Put It Away
Rewire - Idea I'm Exploring
Things Will Work Out
We are usually very good at noticing what goes wrong. When things don’t go our way.
The thing that fell through, the missed opportunity, the plan that fell apart.
Those moments get our attention because they create friction. They make us feel like life is working against us.
But when you look at the other side, you’d be surprised at how often things do line up.
To take a line from a movie I watched recently called Voicemails for Isabelle: sometimes life rigs things in your favour.
I like that.
Not because I believe everything magically works out exactly the way we want it to. It doesn’t.
But when you start paying attention to the moments where life does seem to line things up, you begin to see things differently. Not with blind optimism, but with a deeper kind of trust.
A sense that even when things don’t go according to plan, the story may still be unfolding in your favour.
Recently, my wife Lisa bought tickets for a 2026 World Cup knockout game in Toronto. The game was happening on our second anniversary. We did not yet know who would be playing, but there was a chance Portugal could be one of the teams.
Lisa is a huge Portugal fan. She loves soccer (or football, depending on who you ask). Seeing Portugal play on our home soil would be something special.
Then the little details started to stack up.
The seats we were able to get were in section 222, which happens to be my lucky number. The matchup would come from Group K and Group L, our first initials. But for Portugal to land in that game, they needed an unlikely result in their final group match against Colombia.
The match ended in a draw putting Portugal in second place in the group.
And suddenly, we got the game we had hoped for.
Portugal vs. Croatia.
It was never on my bucket list to see a live FIFA game. But the game we witnessed probably ranks as one of the top three live sporting events I have ever attended.
Portugal won 2-1 in a tense, back-and-forth game that came down to a controversial disallowed Croatian equalizer in stoppage time.
I walked away with a new appreciation for the sport. The best part was how much it meant to Lisa.
Small thing? Maybe.
But not every meaningful moment has to be life-altering.
Sometimes it’s enough to notice that life has the ability to surprise you in a good way.
That experience made me think of another moment from 2023, when my son and I took a sports trip to Texas.
The plan was ambitious. We were going to see Game 7 of the ALCS between the Texas Rangers and Houston Astros, the San Antonio Spurs home opener against the Dallas Mavericks and Victor Wembanyama’s NBA rookie debut, and then the Toronto Maple Leafs against the Dallas Stars.
There was only one problem.
There had to actually be an ALCS Game 7.
Houston was leading the series 3-2. Game 6 was being played the night before we were supposed to fly to Houston. If Houston won, the first leg of our trip disappeared before we even got on the plane.
Texas had to win.
That night, we walked into the airport hotel lobby and quickly found a TV with the game on. Texas was leading 4-2. Then they added another run.
Then Adolis Garcia, who was already one of my son’s favourite players, stepped up and hit a grand slam to put the game out of reach.
The Rangers won 9-2. Game 7 was happening. And we were going.
On paper, it was just a baseball game. In real life, it was much more than that.
It was the first time in a while that my son and I were taking a trip together at an important time in our lives and in our relationship. We had both needed it. The games were the excuse. The time together was the point.
Even then, the trip was not perfect. We had delays. Cancellations. Travel issues that could have easily turned into panic.
But we rolled with things and kept moving. And we made it to every game.
That is often how life works.
Not perfectly or without stressful moments. Not on the exact path you would have chosen. But somehow, one step at a time, it unfolds.
Of course, not every example feels good in the moment.
Sometimes the thing that “works out” first looks like failure.
I have had several periods in my life where it felt like the deck was stacked against me. For example, years ago, I was not generating any income, carrying a mountain of debt, running a struggling business that was putting me further behind every month.
It was stressful. Exhausting. Humbling.
But I kept taking the next right step.
Eventually, I got out of that business. I took my lumps and my losses. I absorbed the lessons. I got back to work and started climbing out of the hole.
At the time, it felt like something had gone wrong.
Looking back, I can see how much it shaped me.
I wouldn’t choose to relive all of it, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I can’t separate who I am today from what those years taught me.
That is the part we often miss when we are in the middle of difficulty.
We want the lesson to arrive immediately. We want the meaning to be obvious.
But life rarely works that way.
Usually, the meaning comes later.
In those difficult moments, instead of asking, “Why me?" I try to ask, "What is this teaching me?"
Instead of stressing about every possibility that could happen, I try to keep moving forward. Keep showing up and putting myself in a position where good things can happen.
A chance at luck.
Because what we call luck is often not completely random.
It comes from being in the right places. Around the right people. Having the meaningful conversations. Making the decisions that give your future self a better chance.
When you do these things, life will often surprise you.
Things won’t always work out the way you wanted. But more often than not, they will work out in a way you eventually needed.
Sometimes the thing you wanted would have kept you in the wrong place.
Sometimes the detour becomes the path.
I’m not suggesting the answer is to sit back and hope life takes care of everything. Bad things do happen. Hope is not a strategy.
The answer is to keep taking the next right step without fear of what might happen and let the path unfold.
When you look back, you may notice that more has worked out than you realized.
Not always the way you planned.
But often in the way you needed.
Inspirational Quote
“What we call luck is often not purely random, but rather the delayed byproduct of consistently putting yourself in good positions.”
— James Clear
Reboot - Health & Longevity
Look Up Long Enough to Notice
While we are trusting that life is unfolding as it should, we need to be present enough to see it.
Because there is a strange thing happening.
We have more ways than ever to capture life, but fewer moments where we seem to fully experience it.
You see it everywhere.
People walking down the street like zombies with their heads buried in their phones, oblivious to their surroundings.
Couples sitting across from each other at dinner, both looking down at a screen instead of engaging with each other.
People texting others who are not in the room while ignoring the people who are.
For many, the phone is the last thing they look at before falling asleep and the first thing they reach for when they wake up. Even worse, some check in the middle of the night.
I noticed it during the Portugal-Croatia game too.
There we were, inside an incredible live sporting event. The energy, the crowd, the emotion, the atmosphere. And all around us, people were watching pieces of it through their phones or too busy taking selfies.
I understand the instinct.
Wanting to capture the memory, the clip, to be able to share the moment.
But at some point, the act of capturing the experience starts to compete with the experience itself.
There will be many highlights later.
See it through your own eyes first.
Mobile phones are incredible inventions. A versatile mini-computer and communication device in your pocket.
And social media can be a net positive when used intentionally. It can help you learn, stay connected, discover ideas, build a brand, find opportunities, and reach people you would never otherwise meet.
The problem is not the tool itself.
The problem is unbounded use.
The endless feed, constant notifications, reflexive checking.
The diminishing attention spans, automatic “likes”, skipping to the next video or post without finishing the last. Test: if you’ve made it this far, email me for a free gift card.
The habit of reaching for stimulation the second there is a gap.
We are training ourselves to be anywhere but where we are.
The research is still evolving, but it is not good for our well-being.
Screen time is not automatically bad. Not all phone use is the same. A FaceTime call with your parent is not the same as an hour of doom-scrolling. Reading, learning, creating, connecting, and mindless scrolling all affect us differently.
But the concern is real. Especially for our kids. Me for my own kid.
Surveys vary, but many suggest people check their phones dozens to over a hundred times a day.
Teens with high daily screen time are more likely to report recent symptoms of anxiety or depression than teens without high daily screen time.
Social media use among young people is nearly universal, and public health leaders have warned that the risks and benefits need to be taken seriously.
Impact on sleep is another area of concern. Reviews of electronic media use and sleep generally find an association with poorer sleep quality and more sleep problems, especially when screen use happens close to bedtime.
None of this means we should panic.
It means we should set boundaries.
I am encouraged by schools creating clearer rules around phone use during the day. I don’t think the answer is always an outright ban. Kids need to learn how to use technology well, not just have it taken away. Adults do too.
Use the tool.
Don’t let the tool use you.
A few ideas for reducing use:
- Don’t check your phone for the first 30 minutes after waking.
- Don’t check it for the last 30 minutes before bed.
- Have one phone-free meal each day, ideally with your family or friends.
- Turn off non-essential notifications.
- Keep the phone out of reach during focused work, important conversations, walks, workouts, and time with people you care about.
And maybe ask yourself one question before picking it up: Is this helping me live my life, or is it pulling me out of it?
Because life may be unfolding in ways you cannot see yet.
But you still have to look up long enough to notice.
Put the phone down more often.
Look around.
Get back to living in the real world.
One Action
Put It Away
Pick one moment this week where you would normally reach for your phone.
A meal.
A walk.
A focused work session
A meeting.
A car ride with your kid.
Then do one simple thing:
Put it away.
Just be where you are.
At the end of the day, ask yourself:
What did I notice that I might have missed?
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Until next week,
Kevin
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